One Last Time
To be very honest, it’s been so long
since I last thought about you. Yet every time I do, it still hurts.
가끔씩 나도 모르게 짜증이나
너를 향한 맘은 변하지 않았는데
혹시 내가 이상한 걸까
혼자 힘들게 지내고 있었어
Both of us know very well that we
were never together, yet the two years that I got to spend with you (I’ve no
idea how to even explain what kind of relationship we had) are times I probably
would never forget. It’s kind of amazing how it even spanned across two years considering
the fact that the times we got angry/irritated/quarreled with each other were probably
more than the happy ones. Sounds epic ridiculous now that I think about it, but
I was probably too blinded then because that two years was the period whereby I
thought nothing else mattered more than you.
내꺼인 듯 내꺼 아닌 내꺼 같은 너
니꺼인 듯 니꺼 아닌 니꺼 같은 나
이게 무슨 사이인 건지 사실 헷갈려
Many times I wonder what would have
happened if you popped that question earlier? I mean, what took you so long?
And of all times you could have asked, you popped it during a time when I was
confused and have no idea what I wanted in life. If I have to confess, I actually
do wonder what would have happened if I were to say yes when you came to find
me that night. Would we be happy and walk the rest of our lives together? Or
things would have gotten so out of hand that we wouldn’t be friends anymore.
Who am I kidding now because ever since I said “I don’t know”, I broke whatever
we had, right? I honestly tried to salvage whatever friendship left, but I wonder
if I hurt you so badly that you just reject every advance I made. Every time I
text you, I wonder if you would reply more than a single word. It came to a
point that I felt there was no use trying. Every year I tell myself the same
thing yet every year I still look forward to your birthday. I guess that’s
because it’s the only legitimate reason I got to text you. More like, I know
you would answer out of courtesy so I wouldn’t feel so hurt if you didn’t.
I totally sound like a mess now,
right?
Still can’t believe that I dreamt of
you last night and in my dreams, we managed to talk things out, like I’ve
always wanted, yet didn’t get the chance to.
I know when it happened six years
back, I know I wasn’t the only one hurting (but you were probably in more pain
than me).
니 맘 속에 날 놔두고 한 눈 팔지 마
너야말로 다 알면서 딴청 피우지 마
피곤하게 힘 빼지 말고
어서 말해줘 사랑한단 말이야
Is it selfish of me if I still want
this friendship back? I keep telling myself one more year, yet year after year I
still hold on to that belief that we would work out fine. Guess I should stop
being naïve and accept that this will never work out. So now, I’m just going to
tell myself “Just one more year, Germaine. And if after October, it still doesn’t
work out, then just give up and move on!”
_germx
Is it all, or nothing at all?
20150518. 1508h
Labels: Looking Back, Random Thoughts, self-denial, self-reflection
michael lau 之 为'germ'设计的衣服_
this week was simply terrible, having to survive with just 2/3 hours of sleep every single day!! =X projects, tutorials, readings, meetings and the cycle repeats!! -.- [8 to 6 without any break is a norm now!!] and who was the IDIOT who said that As was the worst!! after you get through As, university life would be a BREEZE!! a breeze as in not enough time i suppose!! -_-""
and guess what my motivation was for this week!! NO, it was not 6bang appearing on MFBBT (ok, maybe to a little extent)! it was NO2GOOD(不二良) !! to be more specific, it was finding NO2GOOD's WORLD WITHOUT STRANGERS design in GIORDANO shops!! but it was horrible cause it was OUT OF STOCK!! =[ truth be told, i've not even had a glimpse of that tee in REAL LIFE!! ^*%$#&^$ this was why i am SO IRRITATED!! but ive accepted the fact that i couldnt find it as this set of crossover tees were limited!! =X and to think that i was so excited about this tee when i saw the design being posted on NO2GOOD's blog one month ago!! HAISH!
but i found another reason to be HAPPY!! (i'm easily contented!! =P) as i was looking through this series of crossover tees, there was another shirt that caught my attention! i love the way this designer used a simplistic apprach of sketching to represent his design!! thus when i FINALLY gave up finding NO2GOOD's design, that was my alternative! =P
ok, and so i was looking at the back of the shirt and randomly saw this! 'M for Michael' and 'F for friends'. then in my mind i was thinking 'why put michael?? why not put other names!! -.-you think you are michael lau, some famous designer or that the whole world is called michael? -.-' and at the next moment, i saw that the designer of the shirt was really MICHAEL LAU!! -.- i felt so BYF!! ARGH!! luckily i didnt say my thoughts OUT LOUD!!
here comes the happy part! when i asked the salesgirl for the size i wanted, she replied " the GERM one is it?" then i was like "what germ?" LOL!! it turned out that this design was called GERM!! so freaking cool can!!! =D who cares about BUNNY when there is GERM now!! HAHAHAHA!! =] and for that day i was deceiving myself that michael lau created a shirt just for me!! HAHAHA!! SELF-DENIAL!!
so much being said but i still want that BUNNY design!! -_-"" and and, i realised that one tee in HK is so much more expensive! HK190 for guys cut, HK220 for female cut! but in SINGAPORE, it's prices at SGP25 each. -_-" and on ebay, i see people selling at US50 or TW1500, excluding postage! interestingly, i found some of the tees being autographed by michael lau himself!! 0.o
on a side note, i guess the ratings for the second season of MFBBT is BAD!! =/ if not, why would the old boys need new uniforms if they are just appearing for 1/2 episodes?? and i just saw the preview of next week's episodes that erjun is going back too in new uniforms!! =X but it is all my speculations though!!
the wednesday's and thursday's episodes were simpy hilarious!! i really miss having the old boys on the show!! unknowingly, their funny antics will just make you laugh uncontrollably!! =D but oh well, 虎牙, 小乐, 阿良, 队长 and ERIC are still my motivations to watch. not forgetting 坦克 who reminds me of 傻子铨because he is always living in his own world!! =X HAHAHA! oops.
after quan, the qiu brothers will be casting in a movie too!! 爱到底! =] QIUSHENGYI and QIUYICHENG!! this is one movie that i cant wait!! although i have to admit that i've not watched 九降风 yet!! (it's not my fault cause i simply cant find it and it's not airing in the cinemas at all =/)
more random stuff!! i want to see 艾毛 dance locking in SINGAPORE!! ELMO 戴家昀~~~!!! >.<>
on the last note, i finally got my new laptop started! -.- it was untouched since it was bought three weeks ago!! =X and i named it mryehyihua!! but the first link that was saved inside was 虎牙's blog! >.< and the second one was qiushengyi's!! =/ i was just trying to be fair!! =X
_germx
seiransei tomorrow!! =]
Labels: ELMO 戴家昀, jayto, LOLLIPOP, MFBBT, MILK, no2good 不二良, NUS, qiushengyi, ryo 阿良, self-denial, yehyihua, 小樂 吳思賢, 林子豪, 虎牙
the LOVE for lectures_
15.o8.o8
i guess today is the best day of the whole week!! =D
(other than the fact that it is FRIDAY!!)
cause both the lectures that i've attended today are totally comprehensible!! =]
thats is all that matters actually!!
econs is totally a recap on market failure, comparative advantage, PPC, etc.
and i guess it's the easiest to understand lecture to date!! =]
as a result, i was wondering why i detest econs so much in JC,
when i'm beginning to like the contents now!! =P
SSA- SINGAPORE SOCIETY is like the MOST ENTERTAINING LECTURE so far!!
the lecturer was simply LAME, SUPER LAME!!! =P
he started of with " my aim today is to make 399 of the 400 students drop this MODULE... then the other 400 on the waiting list will DIE!!!" =/
then he said something which i felt strongly for!!
"i'm still in self-denial mode that it's still the holidays!!! "=[
he even tried to 'welcome' the SEP students with
"HELLO, A WARM WELCOME TO HELL... I MEAN SINGAPORE....!!" =X
at that point we were all in a laughing streak, until we saw what he flashed on the screen...
SSA1201 FAILURE RATE = 100%
i was in a 0.o and OMG state!!
then he said it was a typo error!!! -.-
it was supposed to be 10%!!! =/
i really wanted to faint cause this prof is totally unpredictable!!! >.<
"you guys can go to the IVLE web to download the lesson plan. by the way, what does IVLE stand for?? it doesn't matter, cause I DON'T CARE!!!(then he rolled his eyes!)" =S
and then he went about talking on sociological imagination and out came his aim for today!!
"cheem or not?? ..... DROOOOOOOOP!!!" -.-
and there were similar statements like,
"this is part of my strategy..... DROOOOOOOOOP!!!" =S
then he was talking about some article on the straits times.
[SPEAK UP, THARMAN TELLS YOUTHS...]
and suddenly, out of no where, a classic line came out!!!
"but he is not deaf... ok, i must change my jokes now!!"
you guys get his idea??
OMG, at that time i really just gave a 0.o expression!!
he is so freaking LAME man!!!
and just when i'm getting in the mood to understand his way of thinking,
he gave us a shock with "i'll continue next week, BYE!"
and we still had one hour of lecture time left!! -.-
i'm sure i will enjoy this lecture LOADS!! =P
i just received an email from radiopulze saying that i'm in already!
but what i'm gonna specialize in have not been decided yet!!
so i'll just see how things turn out tomorrow at the tea-session then!! =]
many news came as a shock to me, for example the rumour that has been flying around that MFBBT is going to stop and there will be a new selection for the new and revitalised batch. the existing and present batch will be graduating and not appear on the programme anymore!! i seriously hope that this is not true!!! =[
the results of erjun came to me as another blow!! =/ i mean like it was so sudden and they changed from the original 5 to the present 7. i felt that it was rather unfair for the 3 who were eliminated!! =[ since the result is out, no point fretting over it now!! but it's just... haish!! =[
_germx
i'm beginning to love school!! =]
Labels: MFBBT, NUS, radio pulze, self-denial
0.o is my best friend_
13.o8.o8
day two as a uni student!! =]
*still in self-denial mode*
and the only lesson i had today was sociology lecture.
truth be told, most of the time i simply had the 0.o face!! =/
i just felt that i was surrounded by alien language when the prof was explaining the terms!
but as what IVAN and ZHIMIN always tell us,
"WHEN UNSURE, ACT CONFIDENT!!!"
thats totally what i did and it WORKED!! =P
i guess it's simply time to head to the central library and borrow that SOCIOLOGY DICTIONARY!!
actually, it's not that i do not understand,
it's just that the more i think about an issue/term,
the more confused i get!!! =X
this is what happens when your brain is rusty for 8 MONTHS!! =X
i know i've told many people about this before,
but i cant help but blog about it!! =P
despite having an ahbeng appearance,
ivan's style of blogging really awed me!!
it's like someone penning in place of him.
i seriously respect him loads now!! =]
*claps claps*
anyway, his green/bue contacts really scared me!! >.<
and i still feel that he looks like a SHINIGAMI!! =P
i simply love the feeling of walking all around FASS and saying 'HI' to every other person!!
i guess this is why i never regretted going for o-week!! =]
i just love the A-R-T-S spirit!! =P
and that includes just talking to any random people who sits beside you during lecture, even though he's/she's not from your house! -.-
(ok, i guess it's only me!! >.<)
_germx
i hope i will not feature a 0.o face in tomorrow's lecture! >.<
Labels: FASS, RASINO, self-denial, self-reflection
BACK TO SCHOOL_
12.o8.o8
first day as an official university student attending school at NUS!!
honestly, it simply felt weird, cause at the end of the day,
it had been nearly 8 months since i last touched a set of notes!! =/
in short, i still cannot accept the fact that i'm already a uni student now!!! >.<
and guess what my first lecture was?!
ENGLISH!!!
unbelievable? believe it!! =P
and for most of the lecture, i was having either a 'o.0' or 'HUH?!!' expression!! =/
what do you mean by language??
what exactly does language do??
but overall, it's actually quite interesting!! =]
happily, i accompanied lixin and sherry to watch 钱不够用2 at vivo!!
the underlying meaning of family ties is so strong that i cried!!
i really dunno how to explain that feeling,
but it will really make one ponder on many matters. >.<
i guess it's really time for me to reflect on my actions now!! =X
in addition, i felt even more when i received an sms from sherm,
halfway through the movie that mr lawrence koh's dad passed away this morn.
i was really at a loss of words that i didnt really know how to react.
haish... i really do not like to attend funerals cause i would feel rather emo,
but i still went in the end with chianlim, sherm, kusumo, chendi and francis.
heartfelt condolesces to mr koh and family!!
i dont know why, but for the whole day,
i kept seeing ahbeng like everywhere!! 0.o
be it at every other corner of the school or at vivo!!
lixin calls it fate, but i find it quite spooky actually!! >.<
oh!! i wanted to like blog about o-week,
but i guess i shall procrastinate AGAIN and blog this weekend!!
(hopefully>.<)
_germx
ahbeng makes my day actually!! =]
Labels: movie, NUS, self-denial, self-reflection
